So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
we ran out of wine so you tried to make some by throwing grapes and nail polish remover in a blender.
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
She said she liked strap-ons.
SHE WAS TALKING ABOUT SHOES, YOU ASSHOLE! YOU'RE THE WORST WINGMAN EVER!
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
Overslept. So hungover. Apparently texting the first person in my contact list the time I would like to wake up is not how the alarm clock in my phone actually works.
You kept saying you we're gonna puke and wanted to steal my pants
That does not explain the remnants of a small fire in my bathtub.
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
Randomize
