bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt
I almost got runover on the sidewalk by a car but wen it got closer it was a crackhead walking with the whole front of a car... bumper, lights and all... I love New York.
he just ordered a side of pineapple and winked at me. too much for a first date. come get me.
I feel like the only phrases I can clearly speak while drunk consist of: i'm fucking drunk, chug, and shots
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
The last time I thought I had a UTI, I ended up having herpes. Sooo.. This time in preparing myself for cancer or death.
In sex ed. they really need to include a lesson on saying tampon in foreign languages, just in case.... Trying to ask the woman at the reception desk, who barely speaks English, for one just turned into an awkward game of charades.
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
Okay let's look at your past accomplishments you've done hungover... Sat great score, academic decathlon, state for track. I think you are solid to go out tonight
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
Randomize
