On blowjobs: "If you decide to go there, you finish the job. No complaining." I don't care if it sounds like she's talking about Iraq, I'm in love.
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
We're not even buying beer. Just vodka. In pre-retrospect this was a bad idea but we're doing it anyway
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
You know he really cares when he gives you one of those on-the-go toothbrushes for your walk of shame before running to work
The EMT told me when I left the ER "I'd like to take off your pants again and inspect your package. Just not during a medical emergency..." We're hooking up tonight.
Points for getting a hot hook up after getting a shard of glass in your thigh. Almost makes it worth it.
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
Can you rollerblade?
No, why?
Honestly, I was high and picturing us roller blading together. I wanted to see if I could make my dreams a reality.
all I'm saying is if you're gonna fuck a fat chick do it in a pool it's like zero gravity or something
how did you graduate high school
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
You gotta come over now. He is eating cupcakes while they are still in the foil.
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
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