I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
I get way too drunk to be trusted with family heirlooms
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
It says a lot about how well I know you when I can understand messages of yours that say things like "sauteed Jesus."
You said you didn't want to drink anymore so you started shooting vodka down the back of your throat using a syringe. Oh, and then you aimed it at my eye ball...vodka in the eye hurts btw.
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
I've literally never felt worse
My body feels like its decomposing
Then he claimed me as his prize for 3rd place in a wing eating contest. Too romantic.
This reminds me of the time I was given a lap dance by a David Bowie drag king...
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
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