Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
How do people deal with hangovers? I literally want to eat my own face.
The $10 cab ride turned into a $60 cab ride when you puked down the back of his seat trying to whisper in his ear. He was a trooper though, he came into to wash off in the sink and still tried to get your number.
I just farted so loud someone came to check on me. Thought something fell in my office.
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
What did we do last night and why in the fuck were there carrots in my pocket?
Waxing your own asshole is awkward and difficult at best.
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
First you stole a hockey stick out of the nieghbors yard and claimed you were moses leading his children home. Then you led us around the same block twice before I called the cab
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
We found him. He just came running out of the closet with a bruise on his face saying he has been fighting elves in Narnia for a year.
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