Planet Earth isn't gonna get stoned and watch itself.
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
Hey sis... Don't forget moms day is this sun. And don't get her another gift while you are freakin high this time. The vibrator was embarrassing.
FYI the vibrator was a SUCCESS. She was in a much better mood this last year. Maybe you should get high this time and get a great gift
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
at one point last night, you were literally auctioning me off. "reeeally drunk hot girl ! we'll start the bidding at an ice cold corona. oh, we have a bidder! do i hear a shot of whiskey? going once, going twice.."
youre welcome
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
Text me if you also stopped reading harry potter in the 4th grade and wanna go to the bars tonight instead of the midnight premiere
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
Sometimes I feel like I should become a beautician purely for my ability to shave pretty shapes into my pubic hair.
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
honestly dont worry about it, its not the first time ive injured myself on a potted cactus during sexual relations with a woman
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
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