So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
I think I just saw the silver monkey from legends of the hidden temple sitting out in someone's trash
GO. BACK. NOW.
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
please take me off your list of people to text when you don't want to drink by yourself.
I'm sorry about your car but on a brighter note I did wake up in my dorm. That's something right?
Fuck you.
Admitting I go to nursing school is my subtle way of saying, yes, I know every muscle in your penis and how to effectively use them.
This holiday season is going to be rough between people coming home for the holidays and the already regulars on my list I might have to clone my vagina to make sure I get everyone for all they are worth
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
I am going to piss jack daniels before daylight.
Daylight. It is daylight. Who will give you a ride back?
I hope no one. I want to walk and have a bus hit me.
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize
