I don't think I can get bothered with getting laid tonight
she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
I was just told that i'm a premature cuddler. . . What does that even mean?
Whatever it is you failed
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
I found your wallet in my underwear drawer......... Don't worry I don't plan on asking any questions
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
Okay, tomorrow we'll have a day of life-sorting and plasma-selling.
Just saw a commercial for non alcoholic baileys cream. WHAT THE HELL IS THE POINT?!
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