Holy shit I just stopped short on route 18 because I thought my gps was saying I had to turn right in 11 feet. After almost hitting the guardrail I realized I had to turn in 11 miles.
Fuck I'm high.
can you take me to a tanning bed
sure, why though?
i have to go once so i can blame these herpes on the tanning bed and she won't get suspicious
he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
Only your wife would write 'for deposit only' on the back of that $1500 check knowing full and well our capabilities of spending it on strippers and booze
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
my make-up looks really good tonight. I swear it had nothing to do with me finishing all of your strawberry vodka.
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
I just sneaky put a tampon in on the bus ninja-style.
......how on earth do you do that?
NINJAAAA
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
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