Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
Someday soon you'll wake up next to a bottle of jameson and a half eaten lean cuisine and then you'll be just like me.
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
It's a low moment when you're looking at your girlfriends tits on your daughter's phone..
I'm crying at a bar by myself drinking a pear martini drawing things dicks are scared of. How was your day?
Like we were literally doing coke off his insulin pump
You stopped loving me for a minute.
You sent me "Is nap," I don't think that really counts as a conversation starter.
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
Tripping over coffee tables hurts shins but face is okay bc I landed on a sofa.
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
Some Romanian guy at work just told me "you come my house, we drink beer and you come make fuck with my sister"
If he's not there watching you go for it. It's been a while bro.
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
Drinking is such a hassle. I wish I could just press a button and be drunk.
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