I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
Sometimes, in the course of human events, people get lit on fire.
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
I would literally rather jam a rusty rail road spike into my cock than be here right now. The whore showed up and now I might smash my iPhone into my face repeatedly until I'm no longer consisting of any sort of life.
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
No, she isn't nearly as crazy as the girl who wanted to wear a vial of my semen as a necklace.
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
He literally shouted this Viking war cry when he cam. Then as we laid there he sang me the most beautiful rendition of " When Irish Eyes are Smiling". I've never been more confused.
Randomize
