Just got kicked in the balls by a girl in tap shoes. Fuck EVERYTHING
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
Thanks for convincing the hot dog guy to give me one for $1 after I drunkenly dropped the first one. I loved your reasoning "I know you mark that shit up! I work in retail!"
the guy in the stall next to me, came in, farted, laughed, and proceeded to give himself some sort of hillbilly pep talk that included the phrase "big pussy".
great! i almost saw a gas station fight, and i believe i became the first person to successfully pee and puke in a bathtub simultaneously
Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
He should be castrated
Nah he might accidentally come while they're cutting it off. Wouldn't be fair to the surgeons
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
I think all the guys I've fucked in my life would get along perfectly. They'd probably form an orchestra and travel the fucking world. That gives me the slightest feeling of consistency in life which is great.
Someone just said “I need to use up this money before I’m tits up under the dirt” so I think I’m going to start using that in my daily vocabulary.
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
Randomize
