Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
she's like the billy mays of hookups...touch my boobs and i'll throw in this blow job ABSOLUTELY FREE
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
we just drove past a kid stuck in a tree what a wonderful time to be alive
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
Last time I checked he was house sitting for his ex while she was out of town with some new dude. He was crying about how the guy told him to stay out of his whiskey while he was gone. That's whipped
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
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