I just realized i haven't had sex in 2009. oh man thats embarrassing.
Do vagina's smell?
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
I've been deciding between brands of bagels for 20 minutes. This why I doint smoke weed.
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
i feel like pizza bites are my only friend right now
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
wtf are you talking about? You vomit-splattered the cop from the balcony. The cop YOU called because you drunk-dialed 911 because a 5 year old ate the last donut.
it was a krispy kreme
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
I'm going to call you, don't answer. Need to practice moaning to your answering machine again
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
A guy just threw up in my lecture of 500 ppl and just got up and walked away
Randomize
