I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
she makes me feel like im THAT guy in the taylor swift song
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
So was it you or me who decided it was a good idea to inscribe fuck you on the counter?
That was me. Just a 'welcome to our home' kinda thing.
When i say that im working late and also have a paper to write before 9am tomorrow all i want u to respond is saying that ur gunna come over and sexually distract me from my responsibilities. Not a fucking frowny face.
Sorry. Im on my way.
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
I think I accidentally agreed to be someone's surrogate
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
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