I hate all girls vehemently.
I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
im destined to be single forever. i hope its okay if your kids come and hang out with my cats.
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
I am playing a little game I like to call "How Quickly Can I Infuse This Vodka Into My Bloodstream Without the Use of an IV"
I inhaled my own vomit, how was your night?
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
He's balder, I'm skinnier. I win. I. Win.
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
Randomize
