How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
If I've learned one thing today? Blow jobs get you to state championships.
Alright. Who did it? Who's bangin' the ump?
Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
It's going to be great. We're a perfect team to break up marriages and happiness.
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
Haha you were definitely messed up. Let me know if you need anything
Could really use a time machine and a higher self esteem, in that order
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
Who am I sleeping next to in your bed? Where are you? Also when are you coming home... I need coffee.
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
Idk I've been drinking all day and they're having me blow shit up. Like dont let the drunk chick play with fire and explosives. Common sense 101. I will fuck something up
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
Would it be creepy if I masturbated with my face in the pillow he slept on last night? Cuz I'm pretty sure that's about to happen
I have to make calls today at work. So I'm gonna call your phone and leave some random messages. Just delete them.
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
I think i got beer on your cat.
Randomize
