It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
Lost is over, my longest committed relationship is coming to an end.
Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
You attract beautiful men with jobs. I attract ONE WITH A SOUL PATCH.
it was a sexy soul patch.
I feel a blackout coming on
Plz don't have me burst into your house saying you're late for re airport to rescue you from a fat girl again
That was 2 times
i just swapped my iPhone for a happy meal. this is greg btw, the hooker let me borrow her phone
2020 sucks, I want a refund
Randomize
