shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
We are gonna be 90 years old in wheelchairs at the nursing home sitting at computers poking each other and waiting for the other to die so we will have the last facebook poke.
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
Want me to give your number to an army recruiter?
I don't know... do you want me to use your number to sell used gay porn on Craigslist?
I sense beginning a prank war would end badly for both of us.
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
Randomize