I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
Drunkkker than when I told the drag queen she was prettier than me
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
every Thursday i draw one of my friends names out of a hat to choose who i will drunkenly text all weekend
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
I'm waiting for your stupid pizza and this 400 lb drunk man is behind me singing the acapella version of Elevation by U2
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
Randomize
