You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
he asked you how you felt and you yelled "I FEEL SO PROACTIVE!" and started coloring with sharpies
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
I just feel like you're using me for sex.
I'm glad you finally understand the context of our relationship
I took your mattress from your bed. Don't ask questions. Love you. See ya later.
Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
Now that I'm sober, I'm realizing you put your name in my phone as "wowww"
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
We kinda got asked to leave the strip club and on the way out, you fell again. When you finally got up we got a standing ovation from the girls behind the bar and you took a bow. It was awesome.
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
No actually you're a pro. You puked on the cab ride, and managed to completely contain it in your purse. the cabbie was even impressed.
Pretty sure that I just proved those labels that say "non-flammable" wrong. totally unrelated, We just made your futon fly with a shitload of fireworks
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