So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
I had one margarita and got the worst headache of my life... its like my liver has senior week ptsd
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
N I'm drinking this invention I call "do-it-fluid" I had a bottle of vodka that was 3/4th empty, so I put in 1/4th rum, 1/4th tequila, 1/4th whisky... it's definitely the worst idea ever..
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
Is it weird that my ex and the dude I'm talking to now both only have one testicle? Apparently I've found my type..
He said I taste like cake. Like funfetti. So I feel like if he doesn't come back for that he's just dumb
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?
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