YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
I just got a ticket for shitting on a sand dune.
The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
We found a stripper pole in your closet. It seemed like a good idea. Alex will fix the hole in your wall. Sorry.
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
saw a dude wearin soccer cleats at the bar tonight. fuckin kiddin me man?
Philosophical question for you: is it better to go into work slightly drunk or slightly coked out?
Randomize
