i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
I think the only thing that impresses me are nice penises...and Jesus. Jesus would impress me. Especially if he walked on water again.
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
My dad just called from upstairs on the house phone to tell me to bring him a beer. You tell me how I am.
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
You're a college freshman. Its your job to be pathetic. And drunk. But mostly pathetic
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
The notification you get from snapchat that someone took a screenie is like a formal declaration of blackmail.
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
Hey, sorry I choked you last night... I was just really excited to see you.
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