Forgive me I'm always horny when I wake up
It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
My mom just set up beer pong in the dining room for family game night. and you ask why I'm still living at home.
Using the salt from a pretzel bag for tequila shots. Come over.
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
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