kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
I found all these half eaten mandarin orange on the ground and the bruises on my neck are definetely not hickies
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
Well I shit myself on the way home from work today so there's that...
I just had to pick up my "let's drink and make bad choices" hat, my banana suit and beer pong table from work. Until just then I couldn't figure out why I got fired.
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
Checked my bank account this morning...apparently I went to 7-11 at 4am and spent $22 on taquitos. New all time low for me.
I ate all of them. New all time low for ME.
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
Randomize
