you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
Everybody knows the last week of summer internships include showing up to the office hammered and hitting on the CEO
A drank guy in the ER just sang Trouble to me and when he sang 'Lying on the cold hard ground' he threw himself onto the ground and landed on the wrist he'd just broken. Thirsty Thursday is weird already and it's not even 5.
Legitimately sent a work email with "Hey, you kids, get off my lawn" as the subject line.
I feel like a pile of chihuahua shit that got eaten by a Great Dane who puked it up and then set it on fire.
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
No no no, work drunk and day drunk are totally different. I got drunk with a client and made a huge sale at 1pm. You are still in your PJs and jacking off.
First night in my new place, I had to get drunk to get used to the idea of shitting in a new toilet
Randomize
