They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
i'm pleased to announce i can now open a bottle of wine with my shoe if called upon to do so.
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
I THREW AWAY MY VIBRATOR BECAUSE IT INTIMIDATED HIM. WORST. DECISION. EVER
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
I just puked behind a tree outside work, then walked past my manager with puke in my hair. Man, I'm gonna miss this when I get a real job.
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
Yeah apparently i called the bartender a "fucking prison warden" after she took my keys and called me a cab
I just puked in a chili’s bathroom... happy birthday to me
WHY ARE THE COPS ALWAYS AT DENNYS WHEN IMDRUNK!?
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