Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
the fact that you could barely do more than slur incoherent sentences didn't stop you from correcting her grammar
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
5am, I am wayy too drunk for this. Hookers came out of nowhere. They're like ninjas. Some poor soul got the fat one, tomorrow's going to be interesting...
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
Just puked off the 5th floor onto a car windshield. This is my life and I'm proud of it.
Some old chick is rubbing my thigh and saying she needs some Memorial Day dick. Her teeth are kind of gross but I'm going for it.
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
I'm in the line at Chipotle thinking: "What combo will best prepare my body for the open bar I'm going to subject it to tonight?"
Uhh I just had to break up with a guy who I didn't even know I was dating...
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
Randomize