She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
I guess she thought her walk of shame would be more dignified if she stole my dog
I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
I may or may not have told him that he's "the only one with a PHD in this pussy"... I should like direct cheesy porno flicks or something.
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
Dude how about today while I was on lunch someone died in the break room at work....I didn't even know we had a break room!!
The dog peed on the neighbors baby Jesus. No wonder she thinks we're the devil.
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