So I just saw a commercial for tickle me Elmo furry gloves. And I thought hmm I bet I could jerk off with those. Is that a sign of deepseated charachter issues?
You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
He came on my chest. Sat back and said "hey it sorta looks like lake michigan!" kill me now...
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
Managed to get through family dinner without anyone knowing I was tripping balls. Christmas miracle. He exists.
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
Though I don't usually want to turn down ladies who want to liquify my clothing with their eyes, I made an exception.
If you're going to be single forever, you should try the quesalupas at Taco Bell.
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
Randomize
