Making out with married ex girlfriends: priceless
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
Plan: drunk dancing. Reality: drunk almost getting in fights with people that could beat me into the ground.
Late night whataburger runs are great, except if you're the one that gets left black out drunk puking in the backyard drinking from the water hose
Eating cold pizza and drinking a beer for breakfast while standing in a hotel window naked is how I say hello September...
I just told the toilet I loved it. Bad sign.
I just farted and its sounded like it was disappointed in me.
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
I drank a girls breast milk at this wedding. Shit was next level
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
Randomize
