So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
I think I just saw my 8th grade band teacher trying to pick up a hooker
I'm rearranging all my life goals to become a billionaire by 28 and batman by 30. Not kidding.
Dude he downed 9 shots of tequila, sang bohemian rhapsody with 3 randoms Wayne's world style, solo'd closing time, chased the hot bartender's dog all the way to main, tackled him, carried him back, hot bar tender hugged AND kissed him, then he does a jumping heel click and leaps into my car through the window. Next rounds free at the yeti. Needless to say your little brother is a tequila god.
Basically.
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
Randomize
