He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
He is either going to be in my pants or get a restraining order against me.
I made the bartender pinky promise me there was still vodka in my drinks.
She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
Tell me I'm the only person you know who could punch someone at the bar, get escorted out, smoke a cig with the cop who almost arrested me AND get the security guy who escorted me out to buy me drinks.
I just took what could be the most awkward shit in my life, which considering my definition of awkward and my experiences shitting, is pretty fucking awkward.
...
I was sitting there doing my business and the guy in the stall next to me banged on the stall and asked me how to spell picnic because he wasn't sure.
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
I just woke up ass naked on top of all my sheets, with no blinds in my room because i used them as togas, my back is killing me, im covered in sharpie, i have no memory of last night, and im pretty sure im still drunk. I consider the night a success
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
You have ten minutes starting with this message to get here. Or I'm putting my clothes back on.
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