So when exactly did I get naked and makeout with the statue?
Tampa is so boring. I'm dying. I want lots of cleavage at my funeral. If i cant get laid, i want my friends to. I'm that kind of person
either way he was missing a nipple.
so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
So vagazzling was a success
How was the party
I came home with only one shoe, a t shirt tied around my shoeless foot and I was covered in motor oil. Oh and my shorts were inside out. So you tell me
and please, if you feel the urge to call me crying tomorrow night, do so. i will be home bored and sober.
so i just realized the reason you didn't answer my call last night is because the remote isn't a phone.
I should buy myself lingerie for Valentine’s Day instead of a present for you because I am the present
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
Randomize
