Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
You're either a hooker or Beyonce. Beyonce is abnormally good at doing everything in heels
I never thought I would have to get vodka suctioned out of my ear
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
The doctor said that if they accidentally damage my nerve endings I could permanently lose feeling in my lower jaw.. Honestly the first thing that came to mind was how that would affect my blowjob skills.
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
I just found (and ate) a chunk of a reese's that fell between my boobs. Problem is that I finished those off 3 days ago in a drunk induced sob session... Has it really been that long since I changed my clothes?!
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
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