Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
I GOT EATEN OUT IN A MERCEDES ON A TUESDAY NIGHT. I EARNED THIS SHIT.
bro...we were banging on her floor and her dog walked in and started licking my balls
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
Have I told you recently that I love you, if for no other reason than you make my irresponsible substance abuse look tame by comparison?
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
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