Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
Thanks for stealing lime trees for me at 4:00 am. We're well on our way to having sustainable supplies for mojitos this summer.
Dude you picked up her Chihuahua and threatened to kill it yelling "it's not cinco de mayo, bitches"
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
Is "you left your socks here, please come get them" a good way of saying "come fuck me?"
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
He described his sex dream about me using only emojis
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
He told me that he had never gotten a blow job. I sat there for a second, then thought "I MUST FIX THIS!" It was fucking fantastic.
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
Just a typical Friday. Dinner, drinks, doing lines with a member of Congress
Randomize
