I fucked a guy named chris tucker last night
Yeah, where have you been?
Clearly not facebooking enough. Sweet jesus.
u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
I woke up with his wallet, but not him. Gold-digging at it's finest.
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
Bad idea to be in a car concussed. I just described his dick as an elevator. I think i meant escalator, i dont know
i swear, you were born with a blunt in one hand and somebody else's wallet in the other.
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
I love waking up to reeses ice cream. But I DONT love waking up to it all over my cat. I blame you.
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
Randomize