I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
It was like the Ritz Carlton of jails. I got introduced to our criminal system the right way.
Do you think if Santa was real that he's have a big penis?
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
You slammed your face into the toilet and declared you were moving your bed into the bathroom in the morning. Also, you insisted on crawling everywhere because feet are "overrated."
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
Who spent today in nothing but a vajazzle and candy thong? SORRY NOT SORRY
No, it wasn't really a sexy 'I'm going to go masturbate.' It was an 'I'm going to go masturbate' that implied I was going to drink a tall boy of Mikes and cry while I looked at lesbian porn.
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
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