Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
i think you know its gunna be a bad day when it starts with throwing up into a red plastic cup
I woke up at 5:47 in the morning to you peeing on my parents bedroom floor. I think we've established that you have a limit .
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
Fairly certain I cracked a rib. Masturbation is not for the weak. I die now.
Just got hit on by a 50 year old Englishman who is now swapping drunken racing stories with my mom. Live Mariachi band in the background. How's that for a wake?
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
I got dressed on his front steps, peed on his neighbors lawn, then did a shoeless walk of shame home at 5am...
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
I'm about to order this penis-casting kit so text me within 5 mins if you're not down
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
I met my future wife last night. She's a bombshell from Delaware, hates Trump, and humiliated two old men in a GOP healthcare debate while simultaneously convincing them to pick up both of our bar tabs.
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
Randomize
