careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
If I had a penis I would totaly hang shit off it. Like stretched out peach rings and fruit rollups.
i was out of cigarettes so i took the butts out of the ashtray, emptied them out, and proceeded to roll one big Frankenstein cigarette.
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
Woke up on the floor with my glow stick in one hand & dollar bills in the other. Good. Morning.
I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
I fell asleep in the tanning bed, naked, for an hour and a half and I guess they couldn't wake me up so they called the fire department...and they came in while I was passed out naked...
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
Randomize