Well I left you a voicemail but you probably won't be able to hear it because my mic is fucked up. I think you need to come down here and take it in for me.
I hate this phone so bad I'm going to lose all of my friends because of it
Yeah...you probably will...
well, you're marked off my christmas card list for next year.
I have demons in me.
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
just so you know... i was wasted last night, but the evening is coming back to me in flashes... i made you eat gravy last night, didn't i?
I'm here to help build your repertoire of drunken shenanigans and I should have been arrested stories
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
Drunken snow shoveling. Visiting my family is starting to become a seriously risky venture.
DON'T WEAR PANTS.
I REPEAT.
DO. NOT. WEAR. TROUSERS.
My sunday was babysitting three big, drunk, crying Swedes. Unless your day involved four or more giant drunk swedes I don't want to hear about it.
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
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