You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
I think you'll be amused to know that I achieved the impossible feat of tripping over my own dick
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
Hey by the way did you notice my third nipple in my snapchat
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
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