And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
Woke up to a huge puddle of water in the living room floor, apparently I made an indoor snowman.
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
How do I politely say my vagina is not a chew toy and if you bite me again I will slap you?
You could say take it easy, whoa there, be gentle, anything that doesn't fully convey the horror.
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “good” and 10 being “banging a student’s father”, how bad is it that I’m banging a student’s father?
Randomize
