if i hear one more christmas song, i will fucking shoot myself.
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
Im pretty sure by the fifth subway ride after going in circles the four times prior, we all just accepted that we werent making the concert and should instead enjoy our magical weed and tequila laced journey.
Like fighting the continuous urge to sing Neil diamond "coming to America" kinda fucked up right now
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
When she tells her friend, "hey I'll be back tomorrow, just going to fuck a guy", right in front of you, you know you've got a winner.
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
The power of my boobs compel you
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
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