every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
I don't think he wanted to hear that my most serious relationship was my 1 1/2 year fuck buddy... I think he figured out that's where he's heading
A three fingered guy just showed up with fireworks and bourbon, tonight will be entertaining.
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
I blasted the Halloween Before Christmas soundtrack last night so my roommate wouldn't hear me having sex. Needless to say the sex got a little weird.
Oh my god I need an adult
Wait shit I am an adult
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
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