when your friendship is based on dead babies and vodka there is a delicate balance. lesson learned. for what its worth, you are still my number one.
She sent me a text saying she picked out 17 different Halloween costumes for our kids when they hit the age of 4... The cling factor should have me running right now but honestly I'm just curious
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
True that.. I am going to ride a gold plated unicorn across a field of cocaine and coach purses when I graduate.
That was beautiful.
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
I love how four vibrators are within reach of me right now, but not a single hair brush or comb
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
THE FASTEST WAY TO MY HEART IS THROUGH FAMILY SIZED BAGS OF GENERIC BRAND CHEESE BALLS
I used the phrase "love child of quasimodo and cyclops " in a sentence today.
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize
