Taylor Swift is so right about you.
....ANDDD I just became confused during sexting and sent my mother a text describing a "porno-worthy cum shot."
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
They were scared I was going to get lost last night so they dressed me up as Waldo so someone would always find me.
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
I'm going to fix your towel rack. I broke it while I was dancing on it.
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
I woke up only wearing a Breaking Bad "Los Pollos Hermanos" apron he got from Loot Crate next to a 3 empty bottles of Zima,Jolly Ranchers, and a jar of coconut oil. Fernet is one hell of a party starter
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