dude, it should not be this hard to find a bottomless mimosa on a friday morning
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
I woke up at like 4 am with an old Korean woman cuddling me. I assure you she was not there when I went to sleep.
I just bought a bottle of lube for my car.
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
that was the most beautifully crafted sentence ive ever read that involved the phrase "genitals or whatever"
Randomize
