ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
Pretty sure the cab driver can even smell the sex coming from between my legs
I just blew my weed a kiss
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
Yeah we've been texting but I don't know how to just randomly throw in sooo the real reason this is happening is because i hear you're a drug dealer
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