You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
You stole her bday cake and shared it with drunk strangers on the street.
Guy passed out in the lobby with a keychain sharpie hanging from his belt loop. 1 guest came in and wrote on him, then others saw and got in line. I'm not waking him up.
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
If you're receiving this text it's probably because I drunkenly flashed you on Saturday. Sorry for forcing you to look at my tits. That was uncalled for.
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
We still on for coffee?
Cream and sugar. Deliver to planned parenthood in 45.
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
Using your ex girlfriend's little brother to pick up women at the a&p: priceless
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
Been in bed for 16 hours. Haven't eaten in 18 hours. Haven't pissed in almost 20 hours. Fuck you Stacey and your former reign as laziest bitch. I got the title now.
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
Randomize
