Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
hey, we don't wanna leave the house because we're watching fireworks on tv. this is america.
I've drank myself into a smaller pants size. Who ever said alcoholism was unhealthy was mistaken.
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
I am scared. I picture you doing a keg stand on a sinking ship with hula girls cheering you on. Please text me when you get back to shore...or now would be good
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
Wow. This hand sanitizer smells awesome. It's like I just gave a handjob to a fruit basket.
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
He was late, on account of he accidentally went to the Al-Anon meeting across the hall, and it took him 30 minutes to realize he was in the wrong room.
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
Can we go out and get blitzed in celebration that they'll be no more surprise kids
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
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