people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
Dude I was fucking my girl on the couch and her dog came up and licked my balls. Does that mean we just had a threesome?
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.
I may have pooped in your shoe. or somewhere else in your closet. its unclear.
Some ambulance just rolled up to this bar and this girl just hops out of the back and walks inside
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
We're downstairs cleaning up and she turns to me with these big puppy dog eyes and says "Just so you know, I didn't have sex on your couch". You have to hug that.
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
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