She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
Could you please tell them to stop whispering "thundercunt" every time I walk in the room?
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
dude. i just ate tomato soup with a funnel. we're out of spoon-straws.
Moral of the story: If you're gonna throw a glass of wine in a guy's face, don't do it in your own kitchen.
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
Yeah well you try taking nice pictures while you have pizza crust lodged in your throat
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
TRY TO UNDERSTAND I HAVE MAGIC POWERS HOLY FUCKING SHIT
I was stuffing my face while buying a brownie and coffee and some kid I fucked came up behind me and said. Someone's hungry.
Randomize
