watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
Some guy seriously just got Jimmy Johns delivered to him at the graduation ceremony. This cannot be real life.
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
Let's get drunk and put things on the grill that have no right to be there.
Happy birthday, America.
There's like a dolphin trainer convention here or something. I will parlay this trip to Vegas into riding Shamu if its the last thing I do.
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
Who told you he won a fight? He slammed his face into the ground while trying to do 11 push-ups
Ok, there are marshmallows shaped like elephants
Pandora played an ad for a free trial for an abortion pill if you’ve had unprotected sex in the last 2-3 days and then Lucky came on... I literally am dying laughing
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
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