It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.
You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
I just had a heart to heart with a stripper I'm becoming a dentist.
and a jello shot exploded in my bra last night. Now I have blueberry smurfette boobs. Awesome.
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
I feel like satan and death had a baby that took a shit that replaced my brain.
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
Randomize
