Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
Whats the opposite of morning wood? Whatever its called, everyone saw it when it fell out.
I farted on Jack's balls last night. He got pissed and walked away cause he knew it was on purpose. I couldn't hold it in anymore.
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
I don't care. I'll text you about my butthole whenever I please. That's what you signed up for in this relationship.
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
My mom purposely got me drunk so I can stay at her house bc "we don't spend enough time together." I blacked out anyway, so we didn't spend time together regardless.
I had to break up with her. She was sending me study schedules and recipes for vegan lasagna. I’m just trying to survive man
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