I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
....ANDDD I just became confused during sexting and sent my mother a text describing a "porno-worthy cum shot."
According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
I thanked her for the handjob she gave me in the middle of the night. She had no idea what i was talking about. I think she sleep-jerked-me-off. Im def sleeping over tonight too
The kids I taught this morning even knew i was drunk. One of them even said, and I quote, "You smell like my dad after he goes bowling."
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
Do you think dominoes pizza would deliver faster if I told them I just had shower sex and that always makes me hungry?
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
Tip of the day: Don't Amazon vibrators when your WHOLE FAMILY uses your prime account. There's dildo after dildo showing up in my "Related to Items You've Viewed" category on the home page.
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
Randomize
