He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
Dude how the fuck are we gonna get the lawnmower outta the pool?
You threw a bottle at the bartender and then stole his tip jar. However, you were quickly KO'd by the bartender. Solid right hook.
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
Hired a new intern today and we have something in common. I blew her boyfriend in high school. Do you think she knows?
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
i smell like vinegar and tequila i can feel the old people behind me judging
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
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