Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
Dude you picked up her Chihuahua and threatened to kill it yelling "it's not cinco de mayo, bitches"
he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
Fun times on public transportation. I just had a guy imply that I was racist cause I didn't want to talk to him when I was clearly reading my book and he was clearly on coke.
holy shit I just remembered that story I told about Tom hanks going bowling while high.
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
I'm kind of upset that he wanted to have sex instead of watch Harry Potter. I mean it's Harry fucking potter.
He put his SoundCloud on his Tinder bio. I felt personally attacked.
you stood in front of the mirror for 20 minutes and finally said, "he can hear everything i'm saying inside my head. we need to leave." now try and tell me there is no such thing as too high.
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
Randomize
