i know we just met, but i forget your name, and i'm wondering why my penis burns?
And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
i just snorted my name. best moment ever
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
In debating whether or not it's worth getting out of bed and walking 5 feet down the hallway to go to the bathroom before I puke
Grilled cheese and whiskey for lunch is why i should NEVER be a housewife.
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
The problem with never associating with your roommate is that you never know if they're dead in their room with the door closed or just gone for the weekend...I sprayed some febreeze just in case.
I fell asleep giving a handjob, had a sex dream about giving a handjob, and woke up giving a handjob. Life.
Last night you were throwing up in my toilet singing "all by myself."
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
Yeah, let's go with that. Fuck that weak moment of complete honesty I just had.
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