Grow some girl-balls and come out already
well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
haha I love it when I find out that girls who were mean to me in middle school are now some random dude's baby mama. thanks, facebook.
what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.
YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.
NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
My life is literally "I'm too horny you can't leave" or "let's have pie" there's like no inbetween
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
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