She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
Houston, we have a squirter
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
If I pissed all over some chicks bed I would probably apologize for getting so wasted, not putting out, and turning into a god damn R. Kelly Cinderella... Not ask for coffee and a ride home.
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
You are the voice of reason. And I'm bringing wine. Like seriously this is his last chance. Don't touch me once, shame on you.. Don't touch me twice, shame on me
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
Got caught peeing in public. Sucks. It was a police station. Sucks worse.
He was actually surprised when I poured myself a glass full of straight vodka. Clearly he doesn't know me as well as he thinks.
Randomize
